• Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up.
• You swing left and the ball goes right.
• The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
• Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.
• If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
• Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
• The term “mulligan” is really a contraction of the phrase “maul it again.”
• A “gimme” can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers neither of whom can putt very well.
• An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.
• If your best shots are the practice swing and the “gimme putt”, you might wish to reconsider this game.
• Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
• Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive.
• The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.
• Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Author unknown