GOLF MUSINGS

– It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps with house or yard work will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

– Did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to go to church?

– It takes longer to become good at golf than brain surgery.  On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around in a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

– A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

– A good golf partner is one slightly worse than you.

– The rake is always in the other trap.

– If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.

– If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.

– Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past number 5.

– It’s easy to keep your ball in the fairway if you don’t care which fairway.

-If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, almost everyone would play better.

– The greatest sound in golf is the “Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh” of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway.

– A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest.  They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there’s ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.

– It’s difficult to decide which is more stressful – hitting 3 off the tee or lining up your 4th putt.

– With practice and strength training you can easily get more distance off the shank.

– The only sure way to get a par is to leave a 4-foot birdie putt 2 inches from the hole.

– Nothing straightens out a nasty slice like a sharp dogleg to the right.

– Golden Rule: Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.

– Golf balls are like eggs – they’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

Contributed by P. Demerit via K. Dryfhout